I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE FEEDBACK FOR THESE PARAGRAPHS RIGHT NOW! I AM GIVING BRAINLIEST

Directions: Read and analyze the 4 paragraphs from our classes' Personal Narrative assignment.
In a Google Doc or Slides analyze EACH paragraph by identifying the errors and providing specific feedback on how to improve each one. The paragraph must have a triumph.
*You are NOT allowed to inquire about the author of the paragraphs. This will result in you losing points off YOUR grade.*

PARAGRAPHS:
1. A time l got a great Victory was in Florida, I was playing football
games with my team and I. We needed to make it to the
championship so we played our first 3 games and won those games.
So when we advanced to the championship it wasnt really easy. We
went to overtime and they played their drive. They didn't score most
likely because their touchdown kept getting called back. Then when
we played our drive we scored ended up winning the rings.

2. A time l got a great Victory was in Florida, I was playing football
games with my team and I. We needed to make it to the
championship so we played our first 3 games and won those games.
So when we advanced to the championship it wasnt really easy. We
went to overtime and they played their drive. They didnt score most
likely because their touchdown kept getting called back. Then when
we played our drive we scored ended up winning the rings.

3.When I was younger, about 3 or 4 years old. My parents had a car accident with my moms old red van. We had been going to a store to get some clothes in Greenbelt, and on the Beltway. Someone that my mom knew crashed into us. None of us were severely hurt, but the next day we had to go to the hospital for a check-up. I ended up being in a cast for about 1 week and a half, as doctors said that I broke my arm. I was still able to do things with that arm, just couldn’t do as much as I usually would. For example, I could feed myself and others, but couldn’t do some at-home exercises like pushups.

4.My challenge that led to a triumph was when my family came
to stay at my house for a couple hours and I could not think
of a challenge that led to a triumph until they left I realized
that they were a distraction and I could not figure out how to
complete this assignment then I realized that one challenge
that led to triumph was when I got a bad grade and I figured
it was my focus and I changed spaces to do class in my
house I am more productive I get my stuff done and I feel
more relaxed and excited for the next day.And that's my
personal narrative.

IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK ON ALL OF THESE BY MIDNIGHT, IT WOULD BE GREAT! I NEED FEEDBACK ON THESE AS MY ASSIGNMENT. I AM GIVING BRAINLIEST!

Answers

Answer 1

Answer:

1. I suggest ending the "A time l got a great Victory was in Florida" Ending the sentence and starting a new one. Any number below ten should be written out. (Three not 3) Comma after so. And add apostrophe. (So, when we advanced to the championship it wasn't really easy.) Last sentence needs to be redefined. Does not make sense to say "we scored ended"?

2.  Add spaces. (Obviously) How do you quietly storm out of a room? The adjectives do not make sense. He started to own? I suggest finding a better word.

3. Again, anything under ten needs to be written out. Confused by what this sentence means, "We had been going to a store to get some clothes in Greenbelt, and on the Beltway." Instead of 1 week and a half say a week and a half. I suggest saying the arm I broke, instead of that arm. Very good otherwise!!

4. I suggest cutting out everything that said you could not think of a triumph. It just confused the reader. The punctuation is also bad. Add more commas and get rid of the run-on sentences.


Related Questions

Please give me the correct answer ​

Answers

Answer:

overjoyed

Explanation:

Rewrite the sentences below in the most concise manner possible. Copy and paste the sentences into the box before rewriting them. I will give all my points and brainliest.


The universe is made up of thousands and millions of galaxies, and each of them has innumerous numbers of stars in them.

Electronic gadgets of various sorts help us work around the home and the office in a more efficient and capable manner.

Shockingly, air pollution is still the one and only leading cause of lung disorders and diseases across the whole wide world.

Reading is one of the most unappreciated hobbies of all time because it has the capability to keep you engaged for hours on end.

Movies that are based on books are never really up to the mark because they always simply fail to depict every single detail mentioned in the book.

Answers

Answer: 1.The universe consists of millions of galaxies, and each one contains numerous stars.

2.Different electronic gadgets help us work effectively at home and at work.

3.Air pollution is one of the leading causes of lung disease across the world.

4.Reading is an underappreciated hobby, even though it can keep you engaged for hours.

5.Movies based on books are rarely as good as the books because they fail to capture as many details.

Explanation: This is correct

Answer:

Hey there! I see you need some help, No worries! i gotchu.

Explanation:

The universe consists of millions of galaxies, and each one contains numerous stars.

Different electronic gadgets help us work effectively at home and at work.

Air pollution is one of the leading causes of lung disease across the world.

Reading is an underappreciated hobby, even though it can keep you engaged for hours.

Movies based on books are rarely as good as the books because they fail to capture as many details.

Write an apology letter about plagiarism with the word “Honesty”. (NO GOOGLE ANSWERS PLEASE)

Answers

Answer:

Dear Mrs. Gold

I want to apologize for the plagiarization of the last essay on individuals. The essay should never have been taken off the Internet by them. They can understand now that writing the essay and taking a bad grade would have been better for them than trying to cheat in order to get a good grade. It was a convenient answer to plagiarize, but it was not the right one.

They should have learned a lot by punishing them. To think that they could get away with buying their grades was naive and juvenile of them. Through this experience, they have undoubtedly learned a tough life lesson. They should always do the job themselves from now on and take the grade they deserve. Taking credit for the work of someone else is incorrect. Though they undoubtedly knew this, because they were stealing the work of the people, they did not really care about this. Honestly, cheating is cheating, and they deserve to be punished properly.

I'm very very sorry about their behaviour. Never again should they do this. Our education and your class should be respected by us. Thank you for not harshly punishing us further. In your class, I look forward to continuing my job. I hope that, despite this black spot on their record, they will be able to work hard and increase their ranks on their own.

Thank You,

(Sign your name)

Explanation:

Hope This Helps! :)

Read the passage.

[Dee (Wangero) is still admiring the quilts, but the narrator explains that she has promised them to Maggie as a wedding present.]
She gasped like a bee had stung her.
“Maggie can’t appreciate these quilts!” she said. “She’d probably be backward enough to put them to everyday use.” . . .
[The narrator exclaims that she hopes Maggie will use the quilts. No one has used them all this time that she has saved them. She also remembers that Dee (Wangero) had once told her that the quilts were old-fashioned and that she didn’t want to take one to college with her.]
“But they’re priceless!” she was saying now, furiously; for she has a temper. “Maggie would put them on the bed and in five years they’d be in rags. Less than that!” . . .

In “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker, what does Dee’s dialogue reveal about her feelings toward her sister?


She sees Maggie as a source of competition.


She believes Maggie is simple and ignorant.


She is jealous that Maggie has the quilts.


She thinks Maggie does not deserve marriage.

Answers

Answer:

She believes Maggie is simple and ignorant.

Explanation:

Everyday Use is a short story written by Alice Walker. It's written from the point of view of an African-American mother (Mrs. Johnson), who lives in the Deep South with her shy younger daughter, Maggie. It tells about differences between Mrs. Johnson and Maggie, who follow the traditional black culture in the rural South, and her educated daughter Dee, who has embraced cultural nationalism.

Dee chose a new, African name, Wangero, and has begun wearing more African clothing. She wants to take hand-made objects, such as the quilts mentioned in the given excerpt, that were used in their family for generations. Unlike Maggie, who would use them practically, she would simply display them as artifacts, as pieces of art. She thinks that Maggie is backward for wanting to use them. It's not that she is jealous that Maggie will get the quilts, but she sees her as inferior, backward, simple, and ignorant. She sees herself as superior to both her and their mother.

This is why the second option is the correct one.

Contemporary poets and poetry, dating from roughly the post WWII era of the 1950s, includes a
range of experimental and experiential forms of poetry, much of which confounds those readers
who recognize only the traditional closed forms of poetry.
A.True
B.False

Answers

Answer:

A. True

Explanation:

The given statement is true.

Contemporary poetry (also known as free verse) is a type of poetry that appeared around the 1950s (however, some say that it appeared as early as the start of the 1920s). Some traits of contemporary poetry are:

inconsistent meter  irregular rhyme schemethe varying length of linesinconsistent regard for standard poetic structure

This type of poetry confounds those who recognize only the traditional closed forms of poetry.

Match the character to their description.
Group of answer choices
Jonas

[ Choose ]
The Giver

[ Choose ]
The Chief Elder

[ Choose ]
Father

[ Choose ]
Lily

[ Choose ]
Gabriel

[ Choose ]
Rosemary

[ Choose ]
Mother

[ Choose ]
Asher

[ Choose ]
Fiona

[ Choose ]

Answers

Answer:

lily the giver all the items

The money to provide a free college education to everyone has to come from somewhere. Our already-overtaxed public university systems would be flooded with new students, many of whom would be underprepared.

Answers

Answer:

1. logos

2. pathos

Explanation:

Answer:

1. Logos

2. Pathos

Explanation:

EDG 2021

2. Agree or disagree with the actions or words of Atticus (one example) and then explain your
position. *
(5 Points)

Answers

Answer:

i am confused come again?

Explanation:

What social and cultural elements cause cultures to clash? Why​

Answers

Well, as there are many people in the world, that comes with many different opinions, religions, beliefs, etc... As many people create stereotypes on someone or certain people, or disagree with certain ways, that can create many arguments. The most popular element would be religion, as there are many belief systems and arguments of what could me true.

Hope that helped :)

1. What is the summary of Chapter 2?
Carlotta wrote about ....

Answers

What story is this about?

Which founding group was demoralized by their land being taken and diseases?
A. Rationalist
B. Puritans
C. Native Americans
D. European explorers

Answers

C. Native Americans.

Please what is the answer for 5 questions

Answers

Answer:

It depends on what the question is about.

Explanation:

Our Thanksgiving turkey
escaped the oven and

Answers

Answer:

said you can't catch me I'm the turkey man and ran away

Explanation:

Answer:

ran around the house leaking stuffing everywhere... legend has it that turkey is still roaming around these halls

Explanation:

Use an adjective to describe the behaviour of most people in this passage
(Revolutionaries without will)

Answers

Answer:

Radically new or innovative. Beyond the established procedure.

Explanation:

Adjectives are words used to describe, show the characteristics of something.

You didn't show the excerpt that this question refers to, which makes it impossible for me to show you the adjective you need, but I'll show you how to find that adjective.

As stated above, an adjective is a word that shows the characteristics of something. Examples of adjectives are the words: ugly, beautiful, noisy, apprehensive, nervous, small, happy, indifferent, excited, silent, among others.

In this case, to answer your question you must:

Read the entire text.Identify the way people, described in the text, behave.Find the word that best represents this type of behavior.

In this case, we can conclude that the function of the adjective is to describe, and by trying to describe the behavior of the population, you will be able to find the adjective you need.

More information on the link:

https://brainly.com/question/23904954?referrer=searchResults

PARTY??esboawubawouhowTB

Answers

Answer:

YES

Explanation:

esboawubawouhowTB

Which feature of life in the early 19th century created a kind of fear and anxiety that Gothic writers expressed in their works of horror or tragedy?

A. the nation's aggressive, often violent approach to expansion

B. the nation's reliance on a strictly agricultural economy

C. threats made by surrounding countries to invade the U.S.

D. threats from European nations who wanted to limit expansion

Answers

Answer:

A

Explanation:

someone else asked this question and everyone liked it so yeah :)

im assuming its right

The feature of life in the early 19th century created a kind of fear and anxiety that Gothic writers expressed in their works of horror or tragedy is  the nation's aggressive, often violent approach to expansion. Thus, option A is correct.

What is tragedy?

Tragedy is a dramatic genre focusing on human suffering and, in particular, the tragic or unhappy circumstances that befall a major character.

Although no choices are associated, we may claim that the aspects of existence in the early nineteenth century generated a type of fear and anxiety that Gothic writers reflected in their works of horror or tragedy where misfortune and the fear of death were present.

The Gothic style is considered a subgenre of horror in fictional literature. Some writers trace Gothic literature back to 1764, when English writer Horace Walpole published "The Castle of Otranto."

Themes represented in Gothic literature are based on human fears and anxieties, life tragedies, the fear of the unknown, and so on. Therefore, it can be concluded that option A is correct.

Learn more about tragedy here:

https://brainly.com/question/1327439

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What might the people native to Georgia, the Creeks and the Cherokee, have experienced by living next to the Chattahoochee and across the river from each other?


WILL CROWN BRAINLIEST !! BUT PLS HURRY

Answers

The correct answer to this open question is the following.

What the people native to Georgia, the Creeks and the Cherokee, might have experienced by living next to the Chattahoochee and across the river from each other could have been a sense of neighbors relationship that included cooperation in some aspects and some differences that really did not affect their relationship.

The Cherokee lived in the Mountains of Northern Georgia and its capital city was New Echota. On the other hand, the Creek lived in Southern Georgia, in the coastal plains and the piedmont. Its capital city was Coweta, close to the river. The Chattahoochee River was the geographical feature that had in common.

Macbeth Act 5 scene 1 what habit has has Lady Macbeth been constantly up to ? HELP ME

Answers

Answer:

Sleepwalking,

Explanation:

shes been sleepwalking

Which of the following is true of a memoir?
A reader must be able to finish the memoir quickly.
All the events of the story must be true to life.
A reader must be able to access each character’s feelings.

Answers

Answer:

All the events of the story must be true to life

Explanation:

A memoir is a written factual account of somebody's real life.

Identify the underlined portion of the sentence: Behind the trailers, the kids played softball in the rain.

A. absolute phrase
B. prepositional phrase example
C. appositive phrase example
D. verb phrase

Answers

Answer:

B. prepositional phrase

Explanation:

The underlined portion of the sentence is "behind the trailers" and it is a prepositional phrase.

A prepositional phrase is a collection of words that has a preposition, an object and the word it modifies.

"Behind" is the preposition, "trailers" is the object it modifies.

What is the connotation of the following words that have been bolded?
"Light thickens; and the crow makes wing to the rocky wood"
A, There is a fog.
B. There are so many birds that the air seems filled with them.
C. It’s beginning to get dark.
D. We are close to a forest.

Answers

Answer:C. It’s beginning to get dark.

Explanation:

Today's telephone commonlit I need the answers

Answers

What’s that ????????????

What is the most likely reason the author chose a free verse structure for "Song of Myself

Answers

Answer:

to explain his point

Explanation:

that is just it...

Read this excerpt from Chapter II of Alice in Wonderland. After a time, she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid-gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!" Based on the details in this excerpt, why is the White Rabbit in a hurry? He is worried about upsetting the Duchess if he is late. He is worried about Alice growing different sizes. He is trying to help Alice get into the garden. He is trying to deliver a pair of gloves to the Duchess. hurry

Answers

Answer:

its c I got it right on a quiz

Explanation:

Answer: C

Explanation:

When choosing a topic to write about, it’s important that it is all of the following except:
specific
something no one’s ever written about before
interesting to the reader
not too complicated

Answers

Answer:

something no one’s ever written about before

Explanation:

many people can write about the same topic because they have different viewpoints  

Answer:

something no one’s ever written about before

Explanation:

Because you wanna choose something that never has chose about so its more interesting

Read the excerpt from "The Day the Gulls Went Crazy".

Clearly, "bird brains" are more complicated than we think. And perhaps, we humans aren't so smart after all. That's something to think about next time you watch a bird. And if you see some gulls, think twice before you disturb them. They just might remember your face. And as Larry can tell you, they dive-bomb with missile-like accuracy.

Which statement best explains how the passage supports the author's purpose?

The purpose is to inform; it explains how people can safely interact with gulls.

The purpose is to question; the author doubts gulls can really memorize what people look like.

The purpose is to persuade; the author wants readers to appreciate that gulls are more intelligent than people realize.

The purpose is to entertain; the author jokes that gulls will take revenge if people bother them.

Answers

Answer:

The purpose is to persuade; the author wants readers to appreciate that gulls are more intelligent than people realize.  

i think can i have brainlest pls

Explanation:

The purpose is to persuade; the author wants readers to appreciate that gulls are more intelligent than people realize is the statement best explains how the passage supports the author's purpose. Hence, option C is correct.

What is author's purpose?

The goal or objective of a writer is their motivation for writing. An author may want to mock a condition, inform the reader, persuade the reader, or amuse the reader.

The primary motivation for an author's writing is that author's purpose. The three main goals are to entertain, convince, and inform. You can determine an author's purpose by using the straightforward technique shown below.

A writer may want to communicate in order to instruct, convince, inform, amuse, educate, surprise, excite, sadden, enlighten, punish, console, or a plethora of other purposes. Audiences, like authors, read, listen to, or otherwise appreciate communication for a variety of reasons.

Thus, option C is correct.

For more information about author's purpose, click here:

https://brainly.com/question/30091224

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Why might the speaker suggest a comparison such as the one in line 1? for Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare.

Answers

Lol I am the god so listen to me the answer is a

Read this sentence from paragraph 5. What effect do the underlined words have on the reader?

Answers

Answer:

they create a vivid image of being utterly lonely

Explanation:

I got it correct on iready

In the 2006 documentary An Inconvenient Truth, former Vice President Al Gore strives to inform the public
about the apparent dangers of global warming. Some segments counter critics' claims that global warming
is unproven or that it will not have significant consequences, and others illustrate what could happen to
animals that are particularly vulnerable to climate change. Gore also describes actions that can be taken to
successfully reverse the effects of global warming and encourages viewers to assist in these efforts.
Question
The passage suggests that
O global warming is not as dangerous as people think
O climate change will likely not affect animals
Othere is no scientific evidence to support Gore's claims about global warming
there is some disagreement about the existence and impact of global warming

Answers

Answer:

there is some disagreement about the existence and impact of global warming

Explanation:

The passage above shows that there is, somehow, a disagreement when it comes to the existence and impact of global warming. Although President Gore tries to tell the people of the dangers of global warming, some says that global warming is not true. Other people say that it has an effect  or impact on the animals. The ideas stemming from this issue are opposing each other. This means that not everyone has the same opinion regarding the existence and impact of global warming in the world; thus, the disagreement.

In The Diary of Anne Frank, Act II, who tells the Nazis about the people in the attic?
A. Miep
B.
the thief
O
с.
a worker
D
Mr. Dussel

Answers

The correct answer is B!
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